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So sexual-massage, yeah? It’s like a massage, but spicy, innit. Them hands ain’t just kneadin’ ya back - they’re goin’ *places*, fam. Little-known fact - back in ancient times, them Chinese emperors was gettin’ these rubs to “balance their chi” or summat. Probs just an excuse to get freaky, haha! Makes me laff thinkin’ about some posh git in a robe tryna play it cool while he’s all oiled up.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. “Really, weather? You couldn’t wait five more minutes?” I paddle back to shore, looking like a drowned rat.

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